why i write, by noah

hello,

i have not really spent time thinking about why i write. maybe i will spend a few minutes now and think about it, and write down what i think. (i won’t edit what i write either, so you can rest assured that this is as raw as it gets).

here goes

i write because i am motivated by beautiful things. i think that emotion, in all of it’s forms is a thing of beauty. i find beauty in the simple things. simple observations of people, nature, society, and observations about myself. i think that while fear, jealousy, love, hatred, joy and sadness are all unique, they are also all beautifully the same. they can draw out our best and can exist at the edges of our being. i write because being at the edge of my being is experiencing life. i only have one life and i intend on living it right. what more is there to life than experiencing everything it has to offer? and since emotions are there to be experienced and expressed, what better way to express them than with writing? since i am very important to me, writing of emotion and therefore my life’s experience is a concrete way to record my life – just not in the boring chronological mundane way, but in a unique (me) kind of way.

so there you go. i did some thinking about why i write, and that’s what i came up with. i will probably read it back in a few months time and think it’s all shit, but it’s real for now so that’s cool enough.

keep flyin’

noah

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any better

things have changed, with inter-web-i-video-console-insert/acronym/here but the girls still wear floral dresses and the boys still pedal with fury their bmx to the park with the footy. the old men have a ride-on-two-stroke-weber and a-lasar-gps-guided-remington but have only given up smoking in favour of other marinades (et al) and their shoes still match their hat. i’m bored with it all. give me the love of a good woman, and the sun, surf, blue sky and a song. except for the love of a good woman, not necessarily in that order. grand is a state of mind, a sprinkle of experience, and faith in yourself. if that doesn’t work for you then good luck. i can’t explain it any better.

better than 99

i am secretless for the first time in my adult life.
these days are like no other.

randomness has a flow that i never knew.
a changing signature of time .

now, all there is
is all i need –

a flawless woman, a perfect brew, a quiet room,
and the warm knowledge of happenstance being fate being forever.

Old testament, New fuck

Bursting seemed fruited decadence
Slip into my smoking scintillance
Conceal nothing excepting hanging ego

Let’s dance

Pierced freedom cares for self
Loosed and let go remembered young
Smile for nothing and everything everything
Skyscraper memories pumping pumping
Living for beer and tomato and own sake
All’s counting and lost in Osaka
Late night jump and lost in eleven

I’m in the market

Yessing to yesterday’s norms
Recognise this drunk dunk
Except now I can wear white
Now I run and now I fuck and now
Heard is learned and not awaitened
Wear this skin tight skinned flight
I can see you from there

Bite down hard

Fleeting crazy lasts and lingers
Questions meld into and across
Lucifer may it seem I welcome
Naught but laughter ignorants
What’s almost slipped and nippled
Taken back and bolted hammer
But for ticking timed of rightness

Look at me swim

Re-offered the date desire
Copper not a fool of Silver
Thumbed ring of marathonic

The Band Plays, Waltzing Bella

Where am I?
On the other side of the loop
How did I get here?
You ran for your life
Did I save my life?
Only for a life time

What if I never trusted?
The way that the colours contrive and conspire never cease to amaze
I was told once that life lies, in between sanity and irrationality
I know that cicadas will sing

My hips will get you, get you,
get you when the lights are dim and the band stops playing

Get you.

the next bit

i stare down the corridor that my life has become
the walls are glazed glass
a mirror and window to both, a better world
on the outside or in
a mirage is the problem, i cannot tell nor dare to test
what lies outside is tantalising and green
there for the taking, if only
if only
you knew a safety, taught to keep

i can’t see my glass
but i know what’s inside, it’s swilling in ice
i dip my finger in and chills
run and course around as my whisky mix and sours
it’s been too long my post office friend
too long since blisters in black boots bounced in tune
i miss the smokey damp morning wash

i was a contender
i was on a list, of lovers and fighters, and could hold
my own
now thumbs wrestle my existence
they’ve defined me in suffocated compromise
i’d forgotten who i wanted to be
i’d forgotten who i even was, who i am
but for naive choices, i’d have been me

take solace in that the day is longer than ever
take comfort in that each night brings a dew
this hangover will end and when it does you will be awake like never before
a third of the time until light
averted for now
stock taken, secrets nestled in another state, us both
i am riding my own storm, but drenched by another
i welcome the danger
i dare the pain to take control and strike me down
i want the healing that comes and comes, and come with me

BREATHE

i am new
i am not constrained, held over
i am taking back, to the front
i have a firm hold of this commitment
to the doppelganger
to control’s grip, vice is led

not any society shall determine what tricks shall be borne over
the answer is no, but i need another drink
the answer is always there, even when the question is not
question’s not required, for the answer is always
forgive me, me
forgiveness can be more on palate than permission

take in the warmth this year brings
for i am truly my own keeper, in good will
and i’m a little bit scared

deserve

what
do i deserve?

i know the difference
between doubt and hope
separated by time, consequence
and conscious reflection

how
shall i deliberate?

i take myself hidden
to the edge of norm
we value not those
who follow the fool

when
will i arrive?

i want to wake up
from discontent, to reach
that place where the rain
of need soaks my skin

why
is it complicated?

i create a contentment
designed by a pair
created in tune, we
invoke what’s deserved

Life’s highway lanes

Clover cushions, lovers loft
China white and cotton soft
Virgin blushes, concubine
Wrapped in ruby, opal mine

Night collapsing, pillow turn
Demon haunt me, taunting burn
Red light nightmare, blanket heap
Unplug wire, final sleep

Drunk on jazz, smokey dusk
Timbres flowing, sex and musk
Liquorice bloody, blended wine
Hair with violets, fertile vine

Blunt wit slashes, etches mind
White hair madden, almost blind
Free flow writing, nib of blue
Pages naked, fresh and new

Salty river, dusty dry
Blue sky backdrop, eagles fly
Storm aroma, rolling in
Eyelids closing, light within