a draft from last august, unedited

hers was not for this or that of mine, but for
this and that of his, i knew, as she
skipp’ed past and fell, into
his or someone elses’
arms, not



i need less than i want
namely and actually
freedom to be/have/express character
oh, and
warm wrapp’ed thighs on mine, and

indifferent fantasy, the dream

she opened up to me, and she opened up to me. i expected flow’ering of love and such but instead got words of foul stench and fuck fuck fuck dirrrrty disgust. that made me harder and made me grin with a smeared red and rotten mouth.

the next morning i woke wrapped in stained sheets and stained but indifferent memory. she brought me breakfast with welt marks on her ass and rope burns on her wrists

, but she kissed me gently and strummed her fingers on my bare chest as i ate. she told me she loved me. that made me harder and made me grin with a greased butter and bacon mouth.


this is gonna hurt
but you’re ready
yes, i’m ready
you’re prepared, and you’re smart
i have the perfect plan
you’re stronger then ever
i’m strong and i’ll fly
you’ll fly high noah
this is gonna hurt, but i’ll fly, and i’ll fly, and i’ll soar

yellow dress

across the other side of the park from where i sat, there stood a young woman. she wore a yellow dress. she was looking up into the branches of the tree that shaded her. she held her arms out to the side, palm facing upwards, and she gently swayed like the breeze. the world passed her by. time passed her by, but still,

she danced
in the shade
like the breeze
in that yellow
fantastic dress.

she, as now i, was lost in this moment.

in the breeze her hair flitter’ed, her dress flapp’ed, and my heart flutter’ed when she stopped and stood still. she slowly reached her hands higher to the branches above that shaded her. gently falling was a flower, from that tree, shaken loose by the breeze that swayed her. she cupped her hands and let the flower land gently in her palms. lifting it to her face, she breathed in it’s fantastic frangance. then as quickly as her smile beamed and lit up the shade of the branches above her, she let the flower float off in the breeze once more.

i looked down the blank page of the note pad in my lap and wrote “across the other side of the park from where i sat”. when i looked back up, the girl in the fantastic yellow dress was gone.

three cats

when where the good ol’ days?
i’m not sure exactly, but i’m willing to bet it was some time
before the woman in the street with the three cats started
screaming her fucking lungs out about something i can’t
even understand


there was rain all the night and i woke
at a quarter past somethin’
with memories of a dream
and i tossed and turned and you
(tossed and turned)
me over and over
until the rain blew in and the sheets
were wet, and we lay in the bliss
of the morning

E61 grouphead shenanigans

so, you had coffee with her?
yes, i told you that
but noah, that’s not all is it
what do you mean?
you didn’t just have a regular latte did you
you had a cappuccino
so what if i did?
noah, a cappuccino! you know what that leads to
what are you implying?
first it’s cappuccino, then it will be macchiato!
well, you don’t have macchiato with me any more!
oh my god Noah, did you have a macchiato with her?
well, no. not exactly
not exactly! what exactly did you have with her noah? tell me the truth!
the truth? you want the truth!?!
yes Noah, the tru-
i.. fu… no.. noah…
i’m sorry. i never meant,
no wait, don’t,