wedding day memories

My memories of that day are in fragmented detail.

I don’t remember the names of the people I met.
I don’t remember your dress or what we ate.
What the band played escapes me.
Was there a toast and speeches?
I don’t even remember you saying ‘I do’.

But I remember your smile. The way it warmed the room.
I remember your perfume. Intoxicating as we danced.
What you whispered in my ear and how you looked into my eyes.
I remember you held my hand. And I remember your soft kiss.
It was familiar like a friend and intimate like a lover.

And I remember my sadness. Sadness at the reality of this moment.
The finality of it all. My heart pounded and I felt faint.
I embraced my friend and said goodbye. I wanted to resent him.
But without him I’d never have known you. He mistook my tears for joy.
I closed my eyes for a moment. Then you were gone.
The room and my heart were suddenly empty.


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